


Faded Snapshots

by Wonderlandleighleigh



Series: Photos old and new [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Kidfic, Multi, brief mentions of teen sex, kinda sorta canon-compiant, mentions of child abuse and possible neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 08:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7501905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandleighleigh/pseuds/Wonderlandleighleigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester's baby girl, through all the bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faded Snapshots

0\. 

"Here, baby girl, you hold the salt." 

The canister is big in her thin little three-year-old hands. The label is frayed and rough, but it feels right, and she stands back and watches Daddy and Uncle Sammy dig up the grave, chatting and joking the whole time, and sometimes she giggles and Daddy gives her that look like she hung the moon, which is high and full and bright and it's not too cold and not too hot, and this is life.

 

1.

There’s a loud bang and then everything hurts, and then suddenly, she can’t stand up, and she hits the ground and everything hurts so much. 

Everything hurt so much. 

Everything…

There’s shouting, and there’s another shot, and then everything fades out in a haze of black. 

**** 

When she wakes up, she’s in a hospital bed, and she’s wearing a hospital gown (like on Dr. Sexy!), and everything is fuzzy and everything still hurts, but less. 

“Daddy?” 

There’ shuffling, and then Daddy is standing over her, looking sad and tired and scared. 

“Welcome back, baby,” he says, trying to smile, and Ramona doesn’t understand, so she tries to sit up, and she can’t. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey,” Daddy says and rushes to sit on the bed beside her. “Don’t move, okay? You go real hurt.” 

Panic settles in and whips her head back and forth, trying to figure out what happened, and why she can’t move, and she feels tears threaten, and daddy panics too, and she dimly hears him call the nurse, but mostly there’s a needle in her arm and her belly hurts so, so much, and-

“Ssshhhh,” the nurse says, suddenly at her bedside. “Shh, dear. You relax.” 

And suddenly she feels heavy, and like she’s floating at the same time, and she can’t focus, and when she looks at daddy again, he’s rubbing his eyes like he does when he’s stressed, and in all of her four years of life, she doesn’t think he’s ever looked so pale as he does right then. 

And she wonders why before she drifts back off into the darkness. 

 

2\. 

“Whoa! Shit!” 

Ramona hops back out of the motel room, tub of ice cream in her arms, eyes wide. 

“Sorry!” she calls.

And she doesn’t know why she’s sorry, but daddy is naked and so is the lady he’s with,

Gramps frowns as he wanders up, lifting an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?” 

Ramona feels herself flush hard. Harder than she ever has in her seven years of existence, and she tilts her head toward the door, and Gramps rolls his eyes and pounds on the motel door. 

“Dean! We were gone an hour!” 

“More n’ enough time!” daddy calls back, and Gramps rolls his eyes even harder before he glances down at Ramona. 

“I uh….I guess you got questions…” 

Ramona blinks, and she knows her face is still so red. “Uh...I mean...Daddy says tab A goes into slot B, so... “ 

“Good,” Gramps nods. “Then we can stop talking about this.” 

“Yep. Yes.” 

 

3\. 

Christmas ends with Ramona putting Daddy to bed and pulling the covers over him. 

He drunk. Drunker than he’s been in a while, and Ramona is eight, and Daddy’s boots are tough to tug off of him, but she manages. 

She’s about to go to her own bed and curl up, but he grabs her arm. Not hard, and not forceful, but firm enough to keep her there. 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” he slurs. “I’m so sorry. You d’served better’n this. I know. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Daddy. I just wanna go to bed,” she says, and tugs her arm away. 

He mutters more apologies, until she’s curled up in the other bed, looking at the ceiling. She doesn’t sleep much.

 

4\. 

Gramps dies suddenly, and the heat from the funeral pyre is so hot that Ramona can barely stand to keep looking at it. 

Daddy and Uncle Sammy keep looking, though, and Daddy’s holding her hand tightly. 

“Before he...” Uncle Sammy says, and he’s crying. “Before he....did he say anything to you? About anything?” 

Ramona looks up at Daddy and he looks numb. His eyes are glassy, but there’s no tears as he stares at the flames and the body. 

“No.”

It’s not hard to tell when he’s lying.

“Nothing.” 

 

5\. 

She stands her ground. She’s eleven years old, and she’s not going to let this happen. 

“We’re not burying him,” she says, and her voice cracked and broken and her father sold his soul and nobody could save him. 

Nobody could save her daddy. 

Uncle Sammy is crazy and obviously incredibly drunk, and the slap across her face comes as such a shock that she lands on the hardwood floor in Bobby’s house. 

Bobby’s up on his feet in seconds. “Dammit, Sam!” 

“Look at me,” Sam snaps. “Ramona, look at me!” 

She rolls onto her back and looks up at him, the sting on her face makes her tear up. 

“We’re doing this my way. He was my brother, and we’re doing this my way, and we’re burying him.” 

“Ain’t no way to send off a hunter,” Bobby snaps. “Dean wouldn’t want it this way.” 

“Dean is dead!” Sam growls. “Dean is dead, and if I have any hope- any chance of bringing him back, I need his body.” He kneels down in front of Ramona. “Don’t you see? You see, right? You know I’m trying to make this better. I gotta make this right, Ramona.” 

Things calm down after that. Bobby keeps drinking. Uncle Sammy posses out. 

Daddy is still in the Impala’s trunk, and Ramona is alone and he’s still in there.

He’s still in there. 

They need….Daddy needs…

She pops the trunk open and there he is. Skin shredded, staring out at her with lifeless, shocked green eyes, and she has to shut the trunk again because she can’t lift him by herself and she can’t look at him for another second. 

She curls up in the backseat and cries. 

 

6.

“Where are Jo and Ellen?” 

She gets no answer, and she feels herself deflate as her father and uncle look away from her. Can’t stand...can’t bear to…

 

7\. 

Stull cemetery is too quiet, and the crunch of the dry grass beneath her boots is deafening. 

There’s the Impala, and here’s Daddy, kneeling on the ground, with Castiel standing over him. 

Uncle Sammy is gone.

 

8\. 

She tries to get along with Lisa and Ben but…

It’s rough. She’s never lived in a house before. They’ve never stayed in the same place before, and Ben is…

Ben is irritating as all getout. Younger than she is, and whiney and Lisa tries to be nice but…

She locks her door at night. She salts windows out of habit and carries a knife in her little purse, even though Daddy says she doesn’t have to do that anymore.

Apple pie life. 

Apple pie life. 

How do you live an apple pie life, when you know in your guts that it won’t last and the bottom will eventually…

 

9.

There’s a boy at school and he’s cute and he smiles nice and she’s fourteen and she figures what the hell, right? 

Nobody’s home at Lisa’s house. Lisa and Daddy are at work and Ben is at soccer practice and...

It hurts. 

It’s fine. It’s something. 

 

10\. 

Uncle Sammy comes back and he’s...different. He’s wrong, he came back all wrong, and -

She’s right. The apple pie life doesn’t last.

 

11\. 

Bobby dies. 

The world makes no fucking sense at all. 

 

12\. 

A parade of people start to look at her differently after that. Crowley, Abbadon...Even other hunters.

She’s growing up. Full-fledged teenager and she knows she’s pretty and so do they. 

Demons have no souls and no regrets and she wonders if the only thing that holds the monsters back from taking what they want from her is the knowledge that Dean Winchester will kill them slowly if they try. 

She wonders when that will stop mattering. 

She still locks her door at night, wherever she is. Even at the bunker.

 

13\. 

Kevin dies. Charlie dies. 

The world stopped making sense a long time ago. She’s sad, but she’s not fucking surprised.

 

14\. 

Jody puts the idea in her head first. 

“You don’t have to stay with them,” she tells Ramona when Ramona is seventeen. “I know you think they need looking after, and you’re right, but honey, you’ve done enough.” 

It brings tears to her eyes, and Jody strokes her hair. Nobody’s ever really done that before. Like a mom would.

“It’s not your job, Ramona. Those boys are not your job.” 

She sobs against Jody’s shoulder, because she’s not sure if that’s true or not.

But maybe she should make it true.

 

15\. 

She’s eighteen and the culinary institute in Gotham City accepts her application. All that cooking for her family over the years and making due...making hearty meals with few resources pays off.

She’s beaming brightly as she shows them her acceptance letter, and Uncle Sammy lumbers over with a happy shout, lifting her off her feet and spinning her. 

Daddy just grins. “Good job, baby.” 

 

16\. 

She grips her duffel bag tightly, looking around the bunker. 

“It’s a twenty-one hour drive, you know,” Daddy says, trying to keep his voice light, but she knows he’s sad she’s leaving. 

Ramona nods and grins sadly. “I know, Daddy. But we’ve driven longer, and you checked my car. I’ll be okay.” 

He points his beer bottle at her authoritatively. “You call from the road. You run into anything you call me right away, you hear me, Ramona Mary?” 

She nods. “I promise.” 

He nods, satisfied with that, and steps up to her, gripping her upper arms gently and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you, you know.” He pulls back and looks her in the eyes, green to green, and brushes some of her blonde hair out of her face just like he did when she was younger, so she wouldn't get food in in while she ate. 

“I love you too, Daddy,” she says. “You be careful, too, okay? Do me a favor and don’t die.” 

He snorts and kisses her forehead. “Nag, nag, nag.” 

She giggles but she knows better than to think she won’t be back sooner rather than later.

But for now, there’s something new waiting for her.


End file.
